It’s that time of the year when most humans try to make life changes by making resolutions for the new year. What if your dog made new year’s resolution for 2025? What do you think they would like to change in their lives? I doubt that any of them would resolve to go the gym three times a week, or cut down on sweets. The following is what I think my dog’s top 10 resolutions would be if given the chance. Of course, with the help of their owners.
Dog New Year’s Resolutions for Every Year!
10. I resolve to take more walks… with or without my owner. I have an escape plan.
09. I resolve to quit eating dog food made with real meat! How about just giving me real meat?
08. I resolve to watch more Lassie re-runs and chew up the Old Yeller DVD.
07. I resolve to add 4 more hours to my sleep schedule. I refuse to let the cat beat me on that one.
06. I resolve to sniff more butts and hump more legs.
05. I resolve to do a little investigation and find out once and for all, who stole my nuts!
04. I resolve to bark louder when my owner tells me not to bark.
03. I resolve to stop chewing up my owner’s personal items… as long as I get more belly rubs and ear scratches.
02. I resolve to play harder to get. I’m saving myself for that big, red hunk of a man-dog, Clifford.
And the number 1 New Year’s resolution for dogs: I resolve to remain calm when my owners get back hom…Oh, they’re back! Boy, oh boy oh boy oh boy, they’re back! I haven’t seen them since this morning! Finally, they’re back! Oh happy days!
Side note: Want to help with separation anxiety issues with your dog? Read this article “Doggy, Please Don’t Go.”
Pet Peeves
OK, your dogs probably won’t be making any new year’s resolutions. However, I would venture to guess that they would like to address some of their pet peeves, again, if given the chance. Or would that be human peeves? Owner peeves? I’m not really sure which it would be. Either way, if your dog had a voice, you might hear some of these comments from your dog. Here’s my top 10 for my dogs:
10. They keep putting the lid down on my big water bowl.
09. Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is! I was just there.
08. Human legs that just a tease.
07. What the… HEY!!! Where are my balls!!!!
06. If they want the stick so darn much, why do they keep throwing it away?
05. That Berber carpet can make scooting a real pain in the…
04. I’ve got claws, I run fast, so how come I can’t chase that squirrel up the tree?
03. You humans have no idea what dogs like. How about “Anus n Scrotum” flavored dog chow?
02. Did you notice that I have a thick fur coat? I don’t need that ugly sweater.
01. After a long week of chasing rabbits and squirrels, barking at the postal worker, and fetching sticks, how about a shot of Bad Spaniels for me?
Sorry, no image of a dog with a bottle of Bad Spaniel. I don’t want to get sued by Jack Daniels!
Conclusion
I’m sure I’m just touching the tip of the iceberg on this subject matter. If you have any additional pet peeves that your dog may have, please comment below. Can you think of any new year’s resolutions that your own dog may have? I welcome any comments below. Just try to keep it as clean as you can. Thanks! (Originally published Dec 31, 2024, but is great for every year.)
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